Sunday, January 8, 2012

Counting sheep, but I lost count.

I'm restless again, and thinking again.
I wish I could mute this mind of mine.
Thoughts thrash violently, endlessly.
My eyes twitch, and scream for sleep.
Denied. Denial, I am okay... I am.

I fall back against my will into memory.
Mesmerized and terrified, I was always wrong.
I was always confused, and searching.
I found myself drowning in my own dreams.
I am far better awake, I'm safer awake.

Dreams promise no peace, no rest.
I wake up exhausted, I'm always running
away from demons trying to drag me
back beneath my comfort zone.
I'm always uncomfortable when I'm alone.

Perhaps I can find a pill to mute this mind,
a capsule to prevent my self destruction.
I suppose destruction is more promising
than wondering what it is I'm becoming.
I'm growing sad, even beneath the sunlight.

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